HOPE?

When someone tells you to give up, and you come across to face the consequences which you think can overcome it and you find out that you aren't that strong to build a strong heart. Realizing it's not the same anymore ,feeling guilty and regret knowing he's not there for you anymore when you need him the most. Life does not threat you fair and you will go "fuck it", wishing there's a time machine to change all things.

During Good Friday, it's the commemorating the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and his death at Calvary. When my cousin,Mark bought me to his church for dinner and also some talk without knowing what was the topic was about at first. It was just an ordinary day for me, to know the brothers and sisters. So, while having dinner there was a pastor giving a speech talk about "Forgive". Why "Forgive"? I got the same question why not having the remembrance of Jesus Christ as a topic for Good Friday instead of "Forgive".

These days, it's hard for people to forgive someone who have hurt them so much and badly. I learned something not just remembering how Jesus loves us so much even though how many people have betrayed him but also the word FORGIVE. It was a very good talk because it makes me realize and flashback what I've done to the person who loved me so much and then BOOM "it's over".

It was a good start happen on the Sep 21st, 2010 and now, I'm looking for an answer to the question HOPE? still there?. Well, I don't know. Time comes and flies if you don't get them, you lost it but who knows miracles comes right? To make myself more optimistic over the things that is ugly enough, I always hope for the best he will come back. (Laughs) I know this is stupid but knowing he's not just a normal guy, any other guy who will have the patience to wait for someone who is not worth waiting. He did, he waited and i ruined just because being too naive. Yes, I am when I was being immature. Okay, this is embarrassing but don't tell me you never tried before.

Sighed*. A lot of memories is still pulling me back even though I thought I have already give up. Guess I have not. I did the most dumbest thing is to unfriend him in Facebook, cause' I got enough viewing his profile and his posts it's always telling me that there's somehow a related. It drives me crazy every time when I read his post. It's stupid and tears are always ready to fill up a pile. So, I make the decision just to unfriend him and I guess I can't forget him much. I really missed him a lot and feelings are still there.

Thinking about is it time to give up or not?
When you really love someone, will you give up?

Should I? I guess just wait and see what's the answer then.